15."Man, I coulda saved NASA a heap o' money. I done been
to Mars and it ain't nuthin' but a buncha rocks."
14."Isn't that Larry King down on one knee with that
alien?"
13."Alright, everyone, listen up: Heaven's Gate cult freaks
in this line, drunk rednecks in this line, and X-Philes and
Trekkies over there."
12."Fifteen bucks to view an alien colostomy bag?"
11."False alarm, everyone, calm down! And you two, put that
Frisbee away, for cryin' out loud!"
10."Better get another case of aluminum foil and some more
wire -- these Genuine Alien Artifacts is sellin' like
hotcakes!"
9."What they *also* won't tell you is that one of them
Kennedy boys was a-drivin' when they crashed."
8."Hey, Dude, when does Garcia start playing?"
7."They're *not* dead! I'm telling you... Kurault was
driving, Sagan held me down and Cousteau worked the probe!"
6."...And when the alien returned our son to us, he left us
this lone sequined glove."
5."So then they took me onto their ship and probed me. And
like a fool, I believed it was 'special' and they would 'call
me.' Aliens are scum, Marge. When am I gonna learn?"
4."and I hear they's the ones what gave us Cheeze
Whiz."
3."Programs, getcher programs here! Can't tell the cover-ups
without a program!"
2."Hey, Eunice, pass me the Sterno."
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Roswell, NM, This Week...
1."Hey there, Sweetness. How'dya like a close encounter of
the Earl kind?"